Can vulnerability help us to be strong?

This week yet another man who lived in my community took his own life. I am still reeling from the tragic story of a man who could not / would not face the world any longer and left it in the most sudden and horrid way possible. This tragic tale which I heard on the weekend still shocks me to the core – more so -because this occurrence is now not unusual and in fact death by suicide is the number one killer of men under 44 in our country.

How have we as a nation got to a state of such male silence and despair? How is it that our men have become so afraid to speak about their fears, their loss, their pain that so many feel only able to hide in death? What do we tell the children? What will the young children whose father is now gone think/do with their feelings of loss, sadness and despair?

How does this relate to FIFO you may be asking? As reported several weeks ago in the post RUOK? the issue of depression and suicide in FIFO communities is of great concern and a new campaign RUOK? has been launched to address this epidemic amongst Australian FIFO men. For something immediate I offer up today two TED Talks about the issue of vulnerability and shame which in my mind address the issues of why men and women to a lessor degree remain silent. Could it be possible that vulnerability is the key to strength in human beings?

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html

To end on a positive note this week another study has been announced that will try in its own way to address the health issues both physical and emotional of FIFO workers and FIFO family members.  Curtain University’s Dr Hoath said ” Mandurah and Busselton in WA were chosen to be the focus of the research for their high volume of FIFO workers and because both areas had submitted reports on the issue to a Federal Commission.”  He also emphasized that it is not only the adults who are suffering. Saying that  “children of FIFO families were more likely to suffer from depression or anxiety and often missed out on schooling to spend time with a returning parent or guardian.” See the report at:

http://www.mandurahmail.com.au/story/1677013/new-study-airs-health-fears-for-mandurah-fifo-workers/

With such a large number of studies being conducted things will change. With growing support organisations like FIFO families opening up more support groups across the country and men beginning to take up the challenge of talking about the issues that they face we can make a difference to not only the lives of our men, our children and ourselves but also our whole community. Let’s do our bit to change the conversation in our homes, our communities and our work place by asking a man or a boy each day – are you ok and waiting silently til they speak.

I’m thinking of getting some bumper stickers made up promoting the new conversation I made up around this issue.

“Aussie men talk about their feelings – that’s a good thing for them and their families.”

What do you think? Do you think it could make a difference? Can you get your man to start talking? Can you make it part of your work place culture for men to talk and potentially then see the link between vulnerability and strength? Let me know if you are already working on this issue in your home, your company or your community.

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Relationships – how they work – or why they don’t

It’s wonderful to know that more research with a focus on FIFO and it’s impact on personal relationships is being conducted. This week a survey has been established to collect data from both the FIFO worker and the FIFO partner about the intimacies of their relationship.

Yes.. that being the good the bad and the ugly. Once collated this research will be used by Central Queensland University’s Amy Chapman, to write an honour’s thesis on the impact of FIFO/DIDO work practices on intimate relationships.

Looking at relationships and how they work or why they don’t is a welcome focus for FIFO research and an essential topic that needs to be further explored as FIFO work place practices expand across industries. This relationship debate is equally relevant in the broader community as many people now tend to work longer hours and spend less time talking to or being present with their nearest and dearest.

I’m sure the findings of Amy’s research will shed light on the complex issue of modern relationships where couples and increasingly the kids – juggle work, family, social, sporting and intellectual pursuits simultaneously.

It’s my hunch that the issue of not being present to our beloved, the lack of dedicated time, space and scheduled practices around relationship will be the underlying cause of many of the relationship issues that surface in FIFO and non FIFO relationships today.

If you would like to participate in Central Queensland University’s survey on FIFO/DIDO relationships check out these links.

http://www.gladstoneobserver.com.au/news/how-does-fifo-affect-family/1942837/

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/FIFODIDOemployeeandpartner

So, what do you think makes your relationship work? How have you navigated the tricky path to creating a relationship where both FIFO worker and FIFO partner at home feel loved, valued and supported? What is the single most effective way you keep your relationship on track?

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FIFO workers across many industries

On Friday Tamara Binamat reported in the Pilbara Echo that the medical staff needed in some remote WA centers are now being supplied by FIFO Doctors and Medical trainees. It is an encouraging article about a work place phenomena that is not just taking place in mining, natural resources or in construction. FIFO is a work practice that is being taken up across diverse industries. Health is only one of many. I have a friend who is a specialist nurse working in indigenous communities across NT and WA. As well as FIFO nursing her job is to train staff who are new to the community health environment. The whole working model of the Remote Area Health Corps is set up on a FIFO work place practice model and this model is working because staff are returning time and time again and therefore providing the much needed support and continuity that indigenous health centers need.

As the discussion about FIFO broadens and what FIFO means is being understood by a larger more diverse audience many people outside the mining and or natural resources industry are seeing that although they do not identify as a FIFO family they are in fact living a FIFO lifestyle. For example many professionals say goodbye to their family each week or for part of each month, when S/He travels to Sydney, Perth or Off shore for three days or two weeks on a regular and consistent basis. The families these workers leave behind are experiencing similar issues as the long haul FIFO families in mining and related industries. However, for many of these no identifying FIFO families the isolation, parenting and relationship issues that surface are doubly difficult because the “professional” FIFO work practice is not recognized as problematic or worse – actively ignored.

In my research this week I found a conference paper from 2002 which discussed what today we label as FIFO family issues but then was discussed in terms of the “Intermittent Husband” issue. The paper makes for interesting reading not only for the historical perspective it gives the issue but for the range of industries that in 2002 were seen as workplaces that caused family issues due to the “Intermittent Husband Syndrome” .

Intermittent Husband Syndrome – Research Queensland University of Technology conference paper 2002

http://www.qrc.org.au/conference/_dbase_upl/2002_Pres_008_QUT_UQ.pdf

FIFO Doctors head to the Pilbara – Newspaper articlehttp://www.pilbaraecho.com.au/2013/06/21/pilbara-health-services-boosted-by-fifo-doctors/

Remote Area Health Corps

www.rahc.com.au/registered-nurses

What industry are you / is your FIFO worker working in? What is the schedule you/they work? Have you had conversations with people who are in fact living a FIFO life style but didn’t identify as such?

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FIFO Family survey University of Queensland

In the past few days I have come across Dr Cassy Dittman who is working at the University of Queensland.

She is a psychologist and Curriculum Development Leader at the Parenting and Family Support Centre, University of Queensland.   She is also the daughter of a miner.

She has just commenced a research project looking at the impact of FIFO work practices on the family. This project is probably the first research program to look specifically at the impact FIFO has on the family.

I’ve just had a chat to her and she is very committed to gathering information and eventually developing some resources for FIFO families.

She is looking for FIFO families to participate in an anonymous online survey. I attach the link to the article about her project if you are interested in contributing.

http://www.uq.edu.au/news/?article=26142