Category Archives: FIFO family

Porn and the impact on relationships

I’ve read and heard quite a bit about porn usage and fifo workers over the past two years of my research. In fifo forums across the country and chat rooms put up by the good people at fifofamilies questions are being raised about the issues associated with the use and sometimes the over use of pornography. One executive of a large mining company told me that some men change jobs and sites because there is no or limited access to online material. This he suggested was an issue of access to porn!

PIF-02

My research work of late has led me to investigate the impact that the new era of porn is having on families and our children. Of course this issue is not unique to fifo families but the difficulties of separation and distance make the issue of sexuality and how to manage it potentially more problematic for fifo families.

Here’s an article about the issue that might be of interest to some.

http://thehartcentre.com.au/sex/watching-porn-how-normal-is-it-when-is-porn-an-addiction/

Do you have a story to share about this issue?

 

 

Keeping your head screwed on

old

I’ve been doing other things and FIFO has taken a back seat in my research over the past few month. I’m sorry to say there appears to be little new research being undertaken and no interest from the media in following up FIFO issues.

Today whilst looking for something else I have found a resource that I learned about several months ago but could never find. I first heard about the “Keeping your head screwed’ on resources for FIFO workers and families on radio and loved the following about them:

* They were written by FIFO workers for FIFO workers

* They were written for men by men

* The ideas are presented in several ways, book form, audio book and blogs.

This tool kit can be purchased on line and is very good value for $20.00 per item.

 

See the link below and check them out.

http://communitywellbeingmedia.com/Community_Wellbeing_Multimedia/Store.html

 

Brisbane FIFOconnections christmas party

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

When people make life work for themselves by opening up and sharing what they need and what they want they end up helping not only themselves but others as well. An essential element of sharing is being open and vulnerable.  Being open and vulnerable in particular can be quite difficult if it is new or if you feel you SHOULD be able to cope or do it all on your own. However it’s funny what happens when you do put yourself out there, Ironically,   if you begin to open up and be a little vulnerable by asking for what you need or sharing authentically about how you feel it gets easier and easier the more you do it.

Not only does it get easier to share it gets easier to ask for help. We all need to ask for help when we need it and sometimes even when we don’t. Sometimes helping someone else gives another person more joy than you can imagine. Random acts of kindness or help are good for people and good for the soul. Across our community we need to help each other out more often but particularly we need to help out more in the FIFO community when there are so many people trying to do too much on their own.

One person who has asked for some help lately is Beck Meade. She has started FIFOconnections to bring together FIFO people in the Brisbane area. Beck has contacted me several time and shared ideas and thoughts about FIFO life. Today I’m helping to spread the word about FIFO connections and the good work they are doing to support FIFO families in the Brisbane area. In particular I want to share some information and to let you know that they are hosting a FIFO connections Christmas party on Sunday 1st December. I understand that this is a free event and all Beck needs is for any interested FIFO family members or workers to contact her so they can cater for the numbers.

Sounds like the kind of sharing experience we all need. Check out their website or facebook connection below for details.

http://www.meetup.com/FIFOconnections/

A message from Beck at FIFO connections – FIFO Connections family Christmas party is next Sunday, the 1st of December, in Brisbane. We extend a warm welcome to all FIFO fly in fly out worker’s, Spouses, their families and of course your FIFO worker if they are home.
As this is a catered event we request that any family wanting to come along please RSVP via the events tab in https://www.facebook.com/groups/FIFOmeetups
My family looks forward to celebrating the start of the festive season with yours xx

Have you helped someone lately? If so why and how did it feel? Could we give out less presents this Christmas and more random acts of kindness instead?

The revolving door

P8240065

On my daily FIFO alerts I am increasingly seeing jobs adds and opportunities for FIFO house sharing. This shift away from Newspaper reports and or academic research studies has been growing over the past few months. Rarely do I see any mention of new research project or an article that tries to explore the range of issues faced by the FIFO family in any detail. I wait in anticipation for such news!

With this change in mind my thoughts go toward job security, retention rates and the impact these issues have not only on the FIFO worker and their family but also the cost to companies and the industry as a whole when FIFO workers leave a job.

In my own small circle I know of three FIFO workers who have left their FIFO employment this year. Two left because they wanted to have an extended holiday with their family after 12 months full time work. When they requested leave these contractors in WA’s Pilbara were not given permission and told they must resign if they wanted 4 weeks off. In order to take their well deserved break and spend quality time with partners and children they had to either forgo the family time or leave their jobs. The choice for these two FIFO men was simple. Unfortunately for many it is not always that easy.

The other FIFO worker left a senior FIFO position after 12 months because the impact on his family became too great and any financial gains he received from working FIFO no longer out weighed the losses felt by the family. Of this very small sample 1 has recommenced FIFO work in a different state, the other is actively looking for FIFO work in the same state and the final man has made a decision not to pursue FIFO employment again.

This process is quite stressful on the FIFO worker and the family at home. Not only does it raise the question of financial issues/stresses on FIFO workers (especially contractors who do not get  paid if they do not work) the families at home who must re-adjust the domestic budget to accommodate no income or fluctuating house hold incomes but, it also begs the following question …. What is the cost of the revolving door of FIFO workers? What is the cost to individuals, companies, industry and,more broadly, to the community and the Australian financial and social economy as a whole?

Recent mining statistics suggest that 35% of FIFO workers leave their jobs each year. At an estimated cost of $40,000 per change over this is a significant cost to all concerned. If we are conservative and suggest that only 25% of the estimated FIFO workforce in 2013 (approximately 200,000) leave their jobs in the next 12 monthly the cost of this revolving door employment process will be around $20,000,000! Staggering. Serious and Stressful.

In my small and anecdotal research survey the key reason why all three men left their FIFO jobs was clear.  When given the choice between their commitment to family and their commitment to work when push came to shove family came first! Why then is the industry not spending more time and money addressing this core, universal and almost invisible issue around FIFO and or mobility in the work place?  Where are the long term thinkers in this industry and are they awake?

In a piece of Research from 2008 by Anne Sibbel and Elizabeth Zaczmarek  the issue of retention rates and mobility or FIFO work was touched on in a small study about FIFO and its impact on the family, in particular on the mental health of children.  Their findings although now over 5 years old highlight the common issue that determines the success or failure of the FIFO or mobile work life practice in a given family. That factor or success issue is Support! It  is the support and ability of the woman who remains at home to manage the domestic industry and the raising of the next generation of Australians. If these essential elements of the domestic environment are not working and women are not supported then the well being of everyone is compromised.  In its broadest sense this is the sole reason why worker retention is a serious issue and the FIFO revolving door swings as often as it does. The importance of the domestic industry and the health of our future generations is for the main largely invisible still in the funding and planning of future mobile enterprise practices. WHY?? when there are so many ways we could begin to measure the cost of not supporting women, children and the families of FIFO or mobile workers?

http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/13668800801890129#.Ul8tlySssQU

In the abstract that can be viewed for free of the research the following quote supports the idea that without support the FIFO or mobile lifestyle is stressful and doomed to fail.

“However, mothers from the FIFO families reported significantly more stress than the military and community groups with respect to communication, support and behaviour control within the family. “

An old saying sums up what appears to be invisible still to so many in positions of power in the FIFO industry. ” It takes a village to raise a child” this saying is even more true when families are separated for weeks at a time with FIFO or constant mobility as the work/life practice. What is your experience of the revolving FIFO work door? Has it impacted your family and if so how?

Back on home soil to ………………

Having arrived back home just on a week ago it has been interesting to see how long it has taken to get back into a routine. School holidays aside this readjustment process has set me thinking about trying to plan out things a little better so that my next trip away is not quite so disruptive to my family and the domestic life. Aside from the usual backlog of washing, emails and the telephone messages I had some serious catching up to do on an emotional level. My children and my partner were all needing their share but particularly the kids. I was tired, overwhelmed and within a short while after hoping off the plane I was literally swatting them off me.

images4

This did not suit the perfect homecoming picture I had imagined on my flight home and until I’d slept well and settled down I felt like an uncomfortable stranger in my own house.

I share this today as  a return post as I need to know how families who live through extended periods apart actually do the re connecting bit successfully. What are the processes and procedures that you and your partner have developed to get through the re entry 24hours?

I need to know and wonder if a FIFO regular has it down to a fine art/routine that works each time. I’m sure the answer differs slightly for each person depending on their levels of intimacy and number of children but the optimist in me thinks there must be a clear set of universal principles. So what are they? What has made your re-connection back into the home a successful one – time and time again? How have you managed to give your children the love and attention they needed all at once and within the time frame they think is workable.( My four nearly knocked me over – literally- in their fight to get to me first!) How have you made your connection to your beloved and/or  how is it for you to feel loved and cherished on a physical level after weeks apart?

Does your workplace offer any ideas and or assistance on this issue?

In my search for answers and my commitment to provide relevant research and information each post I offer up this link from the US real warriors website which although aimed at return defense people I think has some helpful hints for us all.

http://www.realwarriors.net/active/afterdeployment/familylife.php

I’d love to know what works for you and your family.

FIFO Families are the “lifters” in our community.

911506-3x2-940x627Back in July a lot happened behind the scenes that bodes well for a growing FIFO workforce and their families.  The National Mental Health Commission held its July Commission meeting in South Headland. The commission staff came from Sydney to the Pilbara to specifically understand the issues affecting FIFO workers and their families. Today as I rang the commission asking if any report or paper had been written after the July meeting I was told by a most helpful receptionist that the office was in overdrive as it was preparing briefing notes to be presented to the new government later in the afternoon. As a I put down the phone I felt a surge of hope for what is possible and what potentially these new briefing notes might say about the need to support FIFO families.

I wonder what will happen when enthusiastic fresh eyes gaze upon the issues affecting FIFO workers and their families across Australia?

When Tony Abbot spoke on Saturday night I wondered, how will a management team that is lead by a man determined to grow business and look after the people who are the “lifters not the leaners”,  make a positive impact in our community? What will he and his Ministers do to support FIFO families and what will it look like?

Today the realists can only hope and believe that behind the words, the blue tie and the party line Mr Abbot has the discipline of a dedicated worker and the compassion of a loyal family man and will make the necessary steps toward supporting FIFO families.

What he said that gave me hope was;

“A good government, a good government is one that governs for all Australians. Including those who haven’t voted for it. A good government is one with a duty to help everyone to maximise his or her potential. Indigenous people. People with disabilities. And our forgotten families, as well as those who Menzies described as lifters, not leaners. We will not leave anyone behind.”

For the FIFO “lifters” in our community who are  working away let’s hope the suggested changes to the Fringe benefits Tax on travel and commuting do not happen. For the FIFO family “lifters” in our community who are working long hours shouldering the emotional and physical responsibilities at home we hope that this new government pays attention and recognises the need for social and cultural innovation and change on the domestic front.

The army of FIFO partners guiding the next generation and managing their domestic environments are the real “lifters” in our community and in truth the “lifters” who have received the least attention from anyone to date. Let’s hope that Tony and his team see more clearly the reality of the Australian working story as it is today and support the work of all the “lifters” working in our culture – particularly those men and women who are the FIFO “lifters”.

An innovative approach – prostate cancer and Dr’s check up

Ric-Mitchell-and-his-AE-Smith-team-at-Lend-Lease-Craigieburn-Town-Centre-project-500px

Liz Jelley works in the mining industry and she knows better than anyone that men make up the majority of the mining workforce.  Liz Jelley also knows that simple conversations can change behaviour and that out of family tragedy something innovative, practical and powerful can happened.

Liz’s father Lance lost his fight with Prostate cancer in May this year. Before her father Lance died, he teamed up with a group of men to come up with a slogan that might encourage other men to get to the Doctors and have a check up long before he did.

Lance came up with the slogan “Be a man and Get a check up”. Now his daughter has worked to get this message out there and in a practical and effective way this message will start to make a difference in several work sites across Queensland as it appears on the ever present high vis work wear. A new range of visibility work shirts will carry the slogan “be a man and get a check up” and will soon be released by Barcoo Workwear and the Prostate Awareness Research Foundation across mining sites in Queensland.

http://www.miningaustralia.com.au/news/beamanandgetacheckup-fifoworkertalksprostatecancer

Liz and Lance’s idea is a great way of getting the message out there in a simple and clear way. Great that it was designed and developed by a man who knew the issue so intimately but sad that this process came from a man who did not/would not go to the Doctors because he was “well” and perhaps left his visit too late. What an enormous act of courage and generosity from Lance who knew his fight was over but wanted to make a difference. What a brave and generous act of courage from a daughter who will always grieve for the loss of her dad but has used this loss and his own words to make a difference to other men.

Finally, on a subject that affects all of us FIFO, Non FIFO, men, women and children I share a blog about one man’s journey with prostate cancer. This man was 49 when diagnosed. At 52 he has turned to writing as his innovative approach to a life threatening illness that the medical profession have now said they can no longer help him with. For his own sake and for the sake of helping others this courageous man, much like Lance, is giving back the best way he knows how. He is sharing his heart, his experience and his pain and his realisations in the hope that his words help at least one other person.

http://philblog100.wordpress.com/2013/08/30/how-did-this-all-start/

What is your innovative approach to an issue you or your family have experienced? Do you have any ideas that could be used to get a conversation going in an innovative way? What message do you want to send out into the world and why?

FIFO Footballers?

Top-40-1

Last week the article below appeared in a North Queensland paper. FIFO Footballers is the story of one player, David Glossop’s decision to fly in to play a game of footy at Mt Isa on Saturday morning and then fly back out again on Sunday to be home for work the next day.

In fact what the article is about the opposite of what FIFO workers are doing. While David is flying in and out for the love of the game most FIFO workers are doing FIFO in order to keep bread on the table and their families afloat. But there are some ideas here that I think are interesting.

http://www.northweststar.com.au/story/1724501/fifo-footballers/?cs=191

This article and the ideas presented within it raises a question about labels and how we as a culture use labels to help us understand things. FIFO is clearly a label that is helping many industries describe the increasing need for mobility in their workforce.  Where as in David’s case the journalist is using FIFO as a way of describing how one player chooses to travel to and from the game he loves. In the past would David’s actions have been described differently or not at all? Haven’t footballers been flying to and from interstate games for years without them being labeled as FIFO?

This leads me to ask the question does the use of the phrase FIFO help us to understand that for people like David the decision to FIFO to and from his football commitments is done so with a duel sense of necessity and a little trepidation at having to travel so far in order to do what he feels he needs to do/loves to do while at the same time leaving behind his family who he also loves and wants to be with?

I became interested in FIFO and its impact on the family because as an idea it helps to focus a broad discussion and attach some inferred meaning around the issues of work, family, relationships and children that no other label thus far has done quite so succinctly.

Through exploring FIFO and its impact on the Family a range of common family, relationship, work/life balance, management of the children, dealing with stress, women doing too much, depression and male suicide issues can be explored. For me and the work I am doing as a researcher, writer and documentary film maker the FIFO label is a helpful umbrella from which to explore issues around support for the FIFO family and the family in general.

Discussion around practical family support and the important work of raising the children and managing the domestic life is almost non existent in this country. There is also limited discussion about the enormous economic and social impact of this invisible work and,  except for in the FIFO debate, it is not a topic of discussion anywhere.

In fact the family management issue both inside and outside FIFO workers’ lives is one that needs urgent recognition, further research and open discussion that will facilitate a willingness to share ideas, solutions and potentially make our  jobs and our lives as men and women much easier. As more and more families have two parents working full time jobs, where does the support for families come from if it is not even acknowledged nor discussed as an issue?

The idea that admitting we need help to develop ideas around processes and policies to ensure that all workers, FIFO, domestic, or otherwise feel supported, valued and acknowledged should be our aim. If labeling something helps us to acknowledge a need for conversations, ideas and potentially solutions at an individual, community and government level then bring on the labels.

When no longer needed perhaps we can dispense with using such label but in the mean time if they help us understand the complexity of our modern work and family lives then why not use them?
What labels have helped you? Is the issue of family management something you are working on in your household? What ideas and suggestions have your family come up with to ensure that all members of the family, workers, children and carers are supported and nurtured?

Can vulnerability help us to be strong?

image02

This week yet another man who lived in my community took his own life. I am still reeling from the tragic story of a man who could not / would not face the world any longer and left it in the most sudden and horrid way possible. This tragic tale which I heard on the weekend still shocks me to the core – more so -because this occurrence is now not unusual and in fact death by suicide is the number one killer of men under 44 in our country.

How have we as a nation got to a state of such male silence and despair? How is it that our men have become so afraid to speak about their fears, their loss, their pain that so many feel only able to hide in death? What do we tell the children? What will the young children whose father is now gone think/do with their feelings of loss, sadness and despair?

How does this relate to FIFO you may be asking? As reported several weeks ago in the post RUOK? the issue of depression and suicide in FIFO communities is of great concern and a new campaign RUOK? has been launched to address this epidemic amongst Australian FIFO men. For something immediate I offer up today two TED Talks about the issue of vulnerability and shame which in my mind address the issues of why men and women to a lessor degree remain silent. Could it be possible that vulnerability is the key to strength in human beings?

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html

To end on a positive note this week another study has been announced that will try in its own way to address the health issues both physical and emotional of FIFO workers and FIFO family members.  Curtain University’s Dr Hoath said ” Mandurah and Busselton in WA were chosen to be the focus of the research for their high volume of FIFO workers and because both areas had submitted reports on the issue to a Federal Commission.”  He also emphasized that it is not only the adults who are suffering. Saying that  “children of FIFO families were more likely to suffer from depression or anxiety and often missed out on schooling to spend time with a returning parent or guardian.” See the report at:

http://www.mandurahmail.com.au/story/1677013/new-study-airs-health-fears-for-mandurah-fifo-workers/

With such a large number of studies being conducted things will change. With growing support organisations like FIFO families opening up more support groups across the country and men beginning to take up the challenge of talking about the issues that they face we can make a difference to not only the lives of our men, our children and ourselves but also our whole community. Let’s do our bit to change the conversation in our homes, our communities and our work place by asking a man or a boy each day – are you ok and waiting silently til they speak.

I’m thinking of getting some bumper stickers made up promoting the new conversation I made up around this issue.

“Aussie men talk about their feelings – that’s a good thing for them and their families.”

What do you think? Do you think it could make a difference? Can you get your man to start talking? Can you make it part of your work place culture for men to talk and potentially then see the link between vulnerability and strength? Let me know if you are already working on this issue in your home, your company or your community.

images3

Positive steps start with simple acknowledgement

Check out our new Face book page and LIKE today

https://www.facebook.com/fiforesearchproject

When the impact of FIFO is affecting a community to such an extent that the community is acting and educating itself to help manage that impact then two really positive and important things are happening.

1. Individuals and their issues are being acknowledge, considered and taken seriously.

2. A collective of individuals and or groups have worked together to address and create a program that deals with identified issues or problems.

When some FIFO kids started to miss out on school every third Tuesday members of the FIFO support community and an innovative school principal from WA’s Comet Bay got together to work out a solution. Support organization FIFO families worked with Principal Matt Osbourne to develop and deliver a program that address issues seen in the FIFO families at Comet Bay Primary School. In a school of 1,000 kids the numbers of FIFO kids is today around 300.

The wife of a fly-in, fly-out worker Anne MacKay with daughter Lucy, 10, talks to Comet Bay Primary School principal Matt Osborne about the new link the school has made with the FIFO Families WA network.Anne MacKay with daughter Lucy, 10, talks to Comet Bay Primary School principal Matt Osborne.

This pilot program was launched last month and is destined to be the first of many workshops that address the very serious issues faced by partners who stays at home to care for their children and run the household while the FIFO worker is away.

As this vital yet largely invisible army of unpaid workers (mostly women) gets the acknowledgment, recognition, support and education they need – to stay physically and emotionally well, do the job of managing children/household and support the FIFO worker all at the same time, – things will improve for all, the stay at home partners, the children, FIFO workers, the family, the community and the industries who employ FIFO workers.

When recognition, support and education is given on an ongoing basis we can all do a better job.  When we extend that notion outside the workplace to include our schools and most importantly our family home all individuals become empowered.

Principal Osborne said something that has a deep lesson for all of us and resonates with last week’s post about asking are you ok?  He said;

“There are lots of challenges that people don’t talk about, those challenges are what isolation and stress do to people, and mental health is the cornerstone to all of this — if mum is not right, the kids aren’t right,” he said.

“You cannot deal with education in isolation. The FIFO lifestyle affects a fair proportion of the community and I think as a school we want to get a greater understanding of where people are coming from and the challenges that they have.”

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/article/17694720//

When we acknowledge and support someone we are all acknowledged and supported in some small way. Acknowledge, Consider, Create, Communicate.

Who can you acknowledge and support today? Has giving free, empowering acknowledgement and support helped you in your life? How?